Imposter Syndrome and Eviction Time

Impostor Syndrome and Eviction Time!

2/10/2019

Hey guys, I know it's been a while but this journey doesn't follow a timeline. Well, this journey coupled with mental illness doesn't follow a timeline for Me.

Let's talk about impostor syndrome because there have been times during this journey that I felt like a fake. I felt like eventually, it all would come Crashing Down.

Bipolar has me in a bit of a different position though I was waiting for the negative parts of mania. I was waiting to swing out of this peace.

With each day I grow a little more cautious because Mania is nothing to mess with.

It has now been eight months since an episode. I remind myself that my sleep is nowhere near Mania because when I'm shifting I stop sleeping. I'd be lucky if I got 2 hours of sleep once transitioning into media started.

I remind myself that I sleep 5 to 6 hours during the week and 8 sometimes 10 on the weekends.

I remind myself that if I was faking I wouldn't wake up feeling peaceful and go to bed feeling the same peace. I would be exhausted from chasing each emotion that the day's various circumstances brought up. By exhausted I mean overwhelmed with negative emotion to the point of not functioning and not being nice either.

If you're feeling like you used to be so different it must be fake, remind yourself of all the work you've done. Remind yourself of the self-reflecting that doesn't allow for fake.

This journey doesn't happen if you are being fake, this journey takes honest truth that some can't handle.

After you've been fully reminded of who you are, tell that Negative Nancy voice to pack her bags because she's being evicted!

There is no place for self-doubt, We are better than that.

There is also no place for negative self-talk, We deserve better than that.

Keep going Warriors each passing gives you more knowledge and more strength.