Why I'm Ditching the New Year's Resolutions

Why I'm ditching the New Years Resolutions!

1/04/2019

Hey Warriors,

As I'm sitting here reflecting on what I've shared with you so far and just my life in general, it reminds me of one of my absolute favorite movies Alice in Wonderland.

Now, most people have seen the movie but if you haven't it's basically about a girl that is dropped into a different world. Everything about it is just wrong for her; it's nothing of how it should be. Nothing makes sense, and she can't find her way no matter which way she goes. No matter who she asks for help she just runs in circles basically. Not to mention being tortured by a disappearing cat with riddles.

I always loved that movie and I wasn't really sure why other than you know all the singing colorfulness and the cat of course. But as I'm looking back on my life and looking back on what I've shared with you guys so far, I've lived a pretty 'otherworld' life. It didn't matter who I asked for help it never made sense in my head. It doesn't matter which path I took or which state I moved to. Didn't matter the type of guy I was with either, I was completely lost and nobody could help me.

For really the first time in my life, I feel like I have a direction and I can stand up and say no. No to the things that I don't want to do. No to the people that I don't want to be around. No to all of those things that just make me feel bad.

This didn't happen overnight, and this wasn't the goal but it happened and I couldn't be more thrilled. So as I'm trying to get back on schedule, I'm making it my number one priority to make sure I don't let my sense of self go again.

I don't have it all figured out, I don't even know where the next week is going to take me. Heck, I don't know where tomorrow is going to take me, but I know who I am and I know what type of stuff I want to do and what type of stuff I don't. I no longer have to be the girl that does what she doesn't want to do out of fear that people won't like her or will leave her.

Since I'm such a different person now, it made me think of resolutions and Albert Einstein's definition of insanity which is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

I'm thinking 20+ years of failed new years resolutions are enough proof that it doesn't work for me. What I'm going to do is to add reflective journaling to my nightly routine.

Previously I took a short time to reflect in my head. The problem is I can get lost in my head pretty fast, and it's not always a friendly place.

No matter what anyone does to me, I've done worse to myself through toxic self-care.

While watching Eddie Smith over at Rebel Army on Facebook .www.facebook.com/groups/rebelcrusade/, I saw that I can guide my nightly reflections on paper. The simple fact that they are written is another awareness factor. Which let's be honest, the more self-aware the better! I know my oops moments usually happen when I'm not aware and my brain starts pumping out actions. Be it a foot-in-mouth moment or otherwise.

Self-awareness is key to my mental health struggles because logic can help me out of emotions. Most of my episodes are emotion driven.

If I could have been self-aware in my twenties my episodes would have been more manageable. Although I didn't love myself back then either.

Now that I've gotten completely off topic, I'll get back to my point.

Instead of giving Daily Reflection an opening to run a muck on my mental health, I'll keep gratitude for the mind I'll do my reflecting on paper where I can write my gratitude and shut the book If it all gets too much.

Keep in mind I'm fresh and still building all of this, so far my nightly routine is reflecting on what I could have done better throughout today and then being grateful for everything from the day and everything else.

Keep going Warriors, you've got this!